salamz loyalties. apologies for the long break. works piling yet so little time to do all. so i have to actaully delegate it properly..

work was okie now. soon not okie. coz im the teacher in charge for the learning studio n theme board term 4. i bet if i tell osman, hes gonna be really angry bout this. he told me to quit soon. if i dun wan to, he will make me. we shall see. niways, as i was saying im the teacher in charge for the theme board and learning studio rite. i'll make sure nth can screw things up. i'll make sure everything will go as planned. weekends im gonna spend the whole day infront of the comp and start to pen down the ideas n plans for 2 themes in advance. insya allah.

hmm to prepare spaghetti or just finger food? fee wanted me to prepare spaghetti, but trasnportation likewise, how neh?

asked EC, he said he needed me to call him. so fee, amacam?? masih nk spaghetti? im on anything. its all good..

decide aite..

ytd i was blogging while chatting wit osman at msn. so i wasnt really concentrating. but i knew very well wat i wanna share about.

ive decided tt i shud leave as soon as the graduation concert ended. ya. totally. i cant tolerate anymore. so much work yet so little time. n for sure im not a working machine, tt can be working 24/7. i need time for own expense. u noe, i have responsibilities too. i m committed to work for almost 2 yrs already, now its time i need to be a bit loose to myself n to almost everyone esp my family. i have decided n will update bout it when the time comes. enuff said. walls have ears rmb?

im such an indesicive freak! i totally cant decide it. n i hate it to the max. onie a few noe wat im goin thru rite now. the rest kept on guessing bout wats tt been runnin in my head. some asked y i was sooo gloomy while conducting my lessons. how come im always keeping things to myself. n i rarely laugh out loud this few days. well, its obvious aint it? coz apparently, i am so freaking confused. i wish not to brag more on this coz i prefer it to be rather personal. loyalties n fwenzies, plz bear wit me ya. make me laugh if u have to.

im such an emo.

niways, while doin the laundry, marque called to say hie. i was happy when i heard his voice. no doubt i do miss him. we talked bout some stuffs. bout raya. bout his skool, but my work. haiz. work.

okie stop it! my blood goes 100 degrees when i saw the word WORK. *faints*

we were singing this some oldskool song la while i was pouring the clorox n suddenly this marque said,

him: " eh nur, u heard this song before or not? pakai baju kancing nya suasa. pakai suasa kancing nya baju. haha pernah dgr?"

alamak ei, this thamby is soooooo oldskool la kan. i laughed when he sang tt song. he sang just for the sake to ask me wat does it mean. i even made my mom sing the correct version. ahakz. funny la. now i realised tt i actually miss him so much.

ive many pending jobs. there i go again, talking bout job! argh! i need to stop it!

got to look for some skool!

too many things to blog yet too little time..

i am rite now suffering from confusion. tt is the most irritating term n hate to go thru wit. i dunnoe y suddenly im hit wit this feeling. its not a good thing kays when ure confused n cant decide. its not a matter or fact if u need to decide or wat la but the thing is, wat ure deciding is actually determine ur future. its future sake tt im talking about here. lets not talk bout future now. the tot of it is killing me inside out.

niways, i tink now its the coming back season. u noe wat i mean? ppl tt went missing at a long period of time suddenly appeared again. jep, who was supposed to be my fiance-to-be, suddenly appeared once again in my life. its sad. involved in a gang fight, in which at first he dun even now wat was happening. he sounded so naive n trying his very best to make me accept him one more time. i jz cant. simply cant. i waited for him 3 mths. n it took me 2 mths to move on. when ive moved on, there he is appearing once again. this is so not gonna help. i suggested tt we shud stayed as frens. he sounded a bit down. but i dun care. i was down for 5 freaking mths!

next is abt the most recent guy. tt i went out wit. im starting to wonder wat these guys want from us, girls, women or ladies. i simply dun understand wat are their desires. if they cant have any control to their evil needs, go n find for themselves a wife then. not to some pure decent gerls. ure leading them on, n when they can accept u the way u are, ure starting with all these nonsence. wth? u paid a lot for the movie, its a waste if u dun wanna watch it and kept staring at me. wat i wore when i met u also wasnt any revealing or wat. i put on kurta n pants for goodness sake. this kind of ppl, do not understand the term 'respect'

i shall not brag more on this. i wanna concentrate my conversation wit osman. amongst all my guy frens, onie he who understand me so well.

tts y hes my besfren.

n i mean it.

wey wey wey!

im still smiling okie. about wat happened ytd. i meant the whole day event la. started off the day with a very loud ring. a call for my dad. from his werk place. then after tt i cant sleep anymore. helped ibu to prepare stuffs for breakfast. she prepared yam fritters, but me being very choosy for breakfast, i had my blueberry muffin cereal from post for my breakfast. did some chores first then got myself ready for the meet up wit the lesbos by noon..

met fee at admiralty then later aidah at orchard. hugged her coz i simply miss her. since we are all like dragging the feet, we had our lunch at ohh-no-so-my-favourite-place lucky plaza. i had chicken rice while the other lesbo had fried rice with egg n fee wit her all time favourite sliced fish bee hoon soup. as soon as we're done, in which we have to get ourself out from tt place very quickly, we headed to far east. recalled at tt time when i went out with the slackers, tt time when faiz bought his huge brown bag from adidas boutique. tt anak lord ar, simply ez lor when comes to shopping. no need to ponder, check this check that, jz ask for new piece n headed to the cashier. tot of meeting up but then later i scared tt i dun have time for someone in which i will mention later on..

at far east, we headed to shops tt have emily's stuffs but to no avail. so we landed at lips. it was too packo n so we decided to take a peep at cheek. both lesbos bought for themselves stuffs except for me as i wasnt in the mood. theres like a hundred of butterflies flying in my stomach thinking bout wat gonna happen later of the nite. aidah bought for her a green n black long sleeve striped shirt. n fee bought for herself a glittery belt for the glitz n glam event. the teachers day dinner thingy la to be specific. after tt, we decided to slack. n we chilled at mac cafe lido. ordered for ourselves a double chocolate n all time favourite chocolate brownie. chit chatted bout some stuffs n shared a few old grandma stories. bitching is a must la. but theres always a limitations to everything.

(pics wit lesbo aidah. will post it soon.)

then later after, we headed to esplanade, n ya allah ya tuhan, it was damn packo i tell u. damn jam packed wit mats n minahs. n the sight of it really making me giddy. they are all majority dressed skimpily and stripy. ahakz! it was hilarious upon seeing all those la n i jz manage to smile n smile n smile. saw a few fwens but din say hie as too shy i tink. haha wad daaa! our intentions was to see the firework bt there was no firework. bleargh! so later..

i met him. everything went perfectly smooth. we catched a movie over at marina. i watched click for the second time. watched it first time wit iman but i dun mind watching it for the second time. he was super dooper nice. n he actually expecting an answer from me but i jz cant tell him yet. u noe wat i mean ryte. as far as im concern, i never did mention him in here yet. n so therefore, i shall onie briefly tell u guys bout him. i jz knew him 2 weeks ago at somewhere. n we're being frens rite now. n recently he asked tt qn n patiently waiting for the ans from me. me being forever so kanchiong, cant give the answer yet. haiyah..

while watching the muvie, migrain hit me. at ferst it was just a minor headache, as nite goin later, it turned into a migrain. so sweet of him, he asked my permission if he cud massaged my head. while watching the muvie ya noe. me at tt period of time was soooo surreal blur jz nodded. by letting him massaging my head, it actually lessen the pain. fortunately the movie was ending soon, n so as soon as the movie ended we headed outselves to the exit. on the way down, i vomitted. n i jolly well noe its migrain tt hit me. he offered me to send me home by cab.

n now he is patiently waiting an answer from me. n me here jolly well typing an entry while doin the thinking at the same time. i asked my ibu's opinion, shes okie wit it. but she wants me to decide on my own. she said i have to decide on my own, wit my own instincts n intuition for my own future sake. ibu suggested i shud bring him home one fine day. n introduce to her n ayah.

insya allah..

now i have to explain to him one by one. need to clarify wit him.. n i really hope if he can understand me very well. hes waiting for my call actually.

its kinda lenghty. i have to go for now. update soon insya allah.

salamz..

uikz! ive been smiling since jz now. coz i tink wat mdm said during de-briefing tt made me smiling wit glee. the management, or to be specific, mdm hani, mdm aini, mr omar n mr ahmad really like my learning studio. oopsie! correction. OUR learning studio. its everyone's ideas and also a team effort. n so mdm made explained to the management n i did. i received lots of compliment. mr ahmad said im very comprehensive. tts a compliment rite? hehe. and i actually felt so so so nervous while doing the introductions and explainatory to them. they are very much satisfied wit us as they said we're very knowledgeable. syukur alhamdulillah!

kudos to my team members, teacher nana, teacher roz, ustazah hada and ustazah hana. n to the rest of imanites, thanks eh for choosing me to be the i/c for the learning studio. hehe. okie okie enuff bout this learning studio thingy aite. conclusion; they like it to the max okie. n its a huge major succes!

next, tmr national day celebration. im confuse as to put on red kurta with white tudung n black pants. or white blouse with red tudung and black pants. or red kurta with black pants n tudung.
im so indesicive la. ive yet to decide. if i were to ask u to help me to decide also, its too late already ryte. aiseyman. nemind nemind, i will iron all those n choose it at the very early morning tmr. when im all freshen up! i suddenly feel sooooo hungry. ishk!

niways, a fren of mine is goin to mesir n shes inviting us for a feast on this wednesday. lesbo aidah, insya allah i go okie. go tell fee go! shoo shoo!

i was sitting down while waiting for azan maghrib. while i was sitting down n daydreaming n thinking bout wt happened in skool jz now, the tot of azmy suddenly popped into my mind. wah seh. of all the time, y now eh. so i think Allah s.w.t helped me to not continue bout him, i was awaken from the dreaming by the azan. syukur alhamdulillah..

rite after, i carried out my solat. then on my praying mat, i seek for forgiveness. shall not tok about it. onie HIM noes wat forgiveness i was seeking for...

supposedly to go out wit shah nur iman, a.k.a senyum. but i guess hes very bz wit his stuffs, so we cancel it.

went to sembawang instead. to the tailor we went. a total of 3 baju each. n made early payment for the teachers day dress. im wearing this gold satin long dress, with a glittery blue lace. now im wondering wat colour i shud wear for my hejab.

n now im thinking wat shoes im gonna put on. heels or covered shoes. i noe for sure when i wear long dress, i will look shorty. so i wanna avoid tt.

ytd was kinda boring. from sembawang, dropped by al-amin, to eat ice-cream. ibu treat us. then later, ayah dropped me n sis at causeway pt. reason; to find the theme on bird's teaching aide. but i cant find any. theres more of opposites, wild n domestic life and animals. yeah. so at last, left wit no choice, i bought for myself n the kids, flashcards animal series. now i must work on the slides since i dun have anything concrete.

enuff bout work. marque called me late at nite. asking me how i was doin. said tt he misses me alot. practice nowadays was boring without me. i smiled n told him tt i pray for them tt they will always success in whatever they're doin. behind his background, i heard moon n fik's voice telling marque to ask me if im still angry with them. but before marque could asked me, i avoid being asked n excused myself. im still hurt deeply..

like wat ahli fiqir and tukang kata ever said "luka di dalam hati boleh disembuh namun parutnya akan terus membekas.."

i noe its sinful to hold grudges. but, pls give me some time to think over about everything tt had happened..

salam alaiki to all loyalties..

new skin. but still the old me. thanks to lesbo aidah.

niways, my learning studio just now was a success! hehe thanks to all my members. they are all very co-operative n very easy to work with. alhamdulillah..

now, lets pray that mdm nor, my dearly principal likes it n satisfy her very much. and lets pray that i dun have to renovate and add in more stuffs..

amin amin ya rabbal 'alamin..

niways, when come to think bout it, i dun tink i wanna be in-charge of learning studio for term 4 themes. drop dead n 'kering' i tell u. non-stop brain dehydration. for the first time in my life, im so dehydrated wit ideas. usually im like giving ideas non stop hits. now im experiencing it. thanks to all for choosing me the i/c for learning studio. they put their trust in me..

thanks for trusting me..

*sob**sob*

ahaks. like as tho the whole of iman teachers gonna read my entry..

i need to go. damn shag.

ouh. HAPPIE 29TH BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE N ONIE UNCLE, Muhd Asraf! and happie birthday to his twin also, Muhd Asri, who is at Washington D.C.

miss u too cik ari..

n thanks ya for the KFC treat to my busu. im drop dead full now..

at last hes 29. so old liao..

syukur alhamdulillah. semoga dipanjang kan umur n murah rezeki ya..
n no more makin tua makin kedekut eh..

hehe. so long n goodnite loyalties..