i totally forgot bout hady's video clip ytd nite. lucky theres you tube. it really helped me alot. so there up there ive posted it permanently. n i can look at his face almost everytime when i enter my own bloggie page.
niways. i tink she went off from the wrong side of the bed. well using computers and not spending time outside aimlessly, is it a sin? well for all i noe, if ure neglecting ur own responsibilty and that can be said as irresponsible. but for all i noe i did all the chores and not leaving anything undone. so wats the issue here?
the thing is i dun bring anyone home like she does. the sister brought him home again n hes there at the couch for the rest of the nite. u noe the feeling of non-liberty as u cant get to do the usuals do-s if hes around. u cant be slacking like nobody business. u cant laugh out loud. so wat can i do when he is present? when he is around? to the computer my fren. i blogged. n there she goes blabber blabber. wat wrong have i done? wat mistakes that ive committed. ive totally got sick and tired with all the nonsence that shes with.
okie okie. shes stress out with the negative things around her, but please dun blame me then. reason is, when shes doing all fine, on cloud nine, shes on her own. when shes having all the problems in the world, shes dragging me in. anything n everything that i did is a sore eyes to her? so how should i conclude this?
run away from home?
dun make me do it. my aunt offered me to stay wit her. seriously. i dunnoe wats wit her recently.
i cant be blogging in malay sia. scared she took a peep n im doom. i wont have to leave the house, i tink she make me leave. so be it. i guess lets jz put it this way, i play her way so that i can survive till like....
when she feels like it. im gonna be dead. cold and buried.
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i can be this dead k.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
my tears are rolling down the cheeks. wit 2 reasons.
first, nuruhudah umar jz msg-ed me saying that his boyfie khalid at m'sia met an accident and coma. shes crying so bad not noeing wat to do. i was comforting her. in my heart, i was trying to control the tears but still i cant. i cried too at the same time coz im feeling for her. how she was feeling rite now, ive ever felt it before. n its painful. unbearable.
secondly, i cry of joy. touching sia my uncle wrote for me a testimonial over at friendster. it was very rare of him to let out everything. hes all out when he wrote the testi for me. quite touching la. not noeing that actually he do see things and all..
ouh before i end tonite's entry, let's all pray for Khalid's safety a.k.a Alil.
Al-Fateha.
first, nuruhudah umar jz msg-ed me saying that his boyfie khalid at m'sia met an accident and coma. shes crying so bad not noeing wat to do. i was comforting her. in my heart, i was trying to control the tears but still i cant. i cried too at the same time coz im feeling for her. how she was feeling rite now, ive ever felt it before. n its painful. unbearable.
secondly, i cry of joy. touching sia my uncle wrote for me a testimonial over at friendster. it was very rare of him to let out everything. hes all out when he wrote the testi for me. quite touching la. not noeing that actually he do see things and all..
ouh before i end tonite's entry, let's all pray for Khalid's safety a.k.a Alil.
Al-Fateha.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
just feel like blogging to kill the boredom..
spent the whole day at home doin nth but laze ard. it was heaven i told u. i did nothing apparently. well apart from goin to the shops to buy the newpaper and berita harian. i din the usuals like i always do. u noe the cleaning of room. the cooking. i onie have to do the dishes. n tts totally heaven. i dun have to worry bout teaching aide anymore coz its the SKOOL CLOSURE la beb! totally relaxing i tell u. if not by sunday, i have to prepare the stuffs for tmr. weeeeeeee!
ouh k. just feel like sharing rather than i blog rubbish. i will be teaching the k1 nx yr. yeah back to the time when i first entered iman n was assigned to al-azhar. history repeat itself. i was happie. but at the same time im worried bout my health condition. when i was with yale, im doin so fine that i never actually have any problems in skool. but things werent really a beauty when i was teaching al-azhar back 2005,i was sick very often n fainted and vomitting and always seeing things. so now i have to tawakkal n pray for the best. insya allah. amin amin.
ok put aside bout the class allocation thingy. the theme gonna b looney tunes. n im gonna promise myself to give my very best k. im gonna be working hand in hand with sis shidah n nurani. me n sis being the soft ones, so we gt for ourself a very loud uztazah. woots! may the shouting n yelling be wit us. haha.
okie okie. i dunnoe wats up wit clarence today. he went totally dead. dun ask about ibi. hes dead too. n onie herman was wit me. apart from him, another herman whom i address him as man, also appeared once again after MIA for couple of weeks. im not hoping for him to re-appear but ey, i dun lose anything. its him. ive moved on. he jz cant resist losing me la. wahahah!
i sounded so arrogant. astaghfirullah~
eh da la. lesbo aidah! change layout beb!
chowz!
spent the whole day at home doin nth but laze ard. it was heaven i told u. i did nothing apparently. well apart from goin to the shops to buy the newpaper and berita harian. i din the usuals like i always do. u noe the cleaning of room. the cooking. i onie have to do the dishes. n tts totally heaven. i dun have to worry bout teaching aide anymore coz its the SKOOL CLOSURE la beb! totally relaxing i tell u. if not by sunday, i have to prepare the stuffs for tmr. weeeeeeee!
ouh k. just feel like sharing rather than i blog rubbish. i will be teaching the k1 nx yr. yeah back to the time when i first entered iman n was assigned to al-azhar. history repeat itself. i was happie. but at the same time im worried bout my health condition. when i was with yale, im doin so fine that i never actually have any problems in skool. but things werent really a beauty when i was teaching al-azhar back 2005,i was sick very often n fainted and vomitting and always seeing things. so now i have to tawakkal n pray for the best. insya allah. amin amin.
ok put aside bout the class allocation thingy. the theme gonna b looney tunes. n im gonna promise myself to give my very best k. im gonna be working hand in hand with sis shidah n nurani. me n sis being the soft ones, so we gt for ourself a very loud uztazah. woots! may the shouting n yelling be wit us. haha.
okie okie. i dunnoe wats up wit clarence today. he went totally dead. dun ask about ibi. hes dead too. n onie herman was wit me. apart from him, another herman whom i address him as man, also appeared once again after MIA for couple of weeks. im not hoping for him to re-appear but ey, i dun lose anything. its him. ive moved on. he jz cant resist losing me la. wahahah!
i sounded so arrogant. astaghfirullah~
eh da la. lesbo aidah! change layout beb!
chowz!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
okie tonite its not an entry about hatred but a lil of humour n love. but i tink theres a lil hatred to start with..
i was sad. yesterday specifically. my mom went shopping without me. she told me that she told the sister to pass the msg to me, but the sister din pass it to me. he assumed n tell my mom that im lazy when actually im on for anything. futhermore its sth tt gots to do with shopping. luck was not on my side, i din get to enter my house as i forgot the keys. now back to my mom story, i almost cried when she told me that shes doin her shopping wit the sister and my brother. one thing in mind, they went without me. i was saddened to the max. when asked wats the use of hp, she said she was too bz to call me. n i set to think, she wasnt too bz to call the sister.
*sigh*
feeling all fed up, not wanting to waste my ez link, i called abah n asked him a favour by sending me to causeway to get the key from abang. once i gt the key, abah hurriedly sent me home coz he noes that im meeting my fren n im all late. once i got in, i rushed and meet my dearie clarence at sembawang mrt. reason being i met him there as he have to avoid woodlands ard tt time. READ: ITS 9.45am WHEN I MET HIM. so after i met him, we headed to jalan besar stadium. slack ard that area. i was too pissed with everything, job and all. so he suggested to go that area n chill.
coincidentally, we bumped into the bunchies. funny thing happened in fact. haha. and yeah clarence was soo lucky to meet fique when the lesbos whos been wanting to meet, din get a single chance to bump into him. nemind lesbos, insya allah aite one day. no worries. n this marque eh i dunnoe wats wrong wit him ytd, he was so vulgar that i felt slapping his face and made him drink clorox. bloooody hell~
so i reached hm at 1am. i overun the curfew. i tot im gonna be screwed.but im lucky. she was asleep wen i reached home. (",)
i really must learn how to manage my anger..
i was sad. yesterday specifically. my mom went shopping without me. she told me that she told the sister to pass the msg to me, but the sister din pass it to me. he assumed n tell my mom that im lazy when actually im on for anything. futhermore its sth tt gots to do with shopping. luck was not on my side, i din get to enter my house as i forgot the keys. now back to my mom story, i almost cried when she told me that shes doin her shopping wit the sister and my brother. one thing in mind, they went without me. i was saddened to the max. when asked wats the use of hp, she said she was too bz to call me. n i set to think, she wasnt too bz to call the sister.
*sigh*
feeling all fed up, not wanting to waste my ez link, i called abah n asked him a favour by sending me to causeway to get the key from abang. once i gt the key, abah hurriedly sent me home coz he noes that im meeting my fren n im all late. once i got in, i rushed and meet my dearie clarence at sembawang mrt. reason being i met him there as he have to avoid woodlands ard tt time. READ: ITS 9.45am WHEN I MET HIM. so after i met him, we headed to jalan besar stadium. slack ard that area. i was too pissed with everything, job and all. so he suggested to go that area n chill.
coincidentally, we bumped into the bunchies. funny thing happened in fact. haha. and yeah clarence was soo lucky to meet fique when the lesbos whos been wanting to meet, din get a single chance to bump into him. nemind lesbos, insya allah aite one day. no worries. n this marque eh i dunnoe wats wrong wit him ytd, he was so vulgar that i felt slapping his face and made him drink clorox. bloooody hell~
so i reached hm at 1am. i overun the curfew. i tot im gonna be screwed.but im lucky. she was asleep wen i reached home. (",)
i really must learn how to manage my anger..
Sunday, November 12, 2006
salam loyalties..
today my entry gonna be an entry full of hatred. yes. n i dun give a damn about what ppl gonna tink about me after reading my entry coz i noe who i am. n im sure onie the loyalties noes the real me.
ferst thing ferst..
i hate my sister. yes. her. nurul azura. y? let me tell u y..
number 1. she accused me of me trying to seduce n steal her boifren, suhaimi. mampoz taknk kan? i was like damn freaking shock sia. never in my mind i wanna flirt or steal or worse! seduce him! wadda?! i was so angry when she told that to my mom. i confronted her in fact n to make things worse, she vomitted all the stuffs that she shudnt mentioned. which is to me is rather sensitive to be speak. i was annoyed and totally very furious with her. not realising that actually her sister have never feelings for her boifren, not even an inch. n she shud very well noe my kinda guy. n hers is a totaly way out. i love big cute guys. not like him. ergh.
because of this, she is making me dislike her alot. like alot. n i jz dun see the point as to why we shud interact more like wat the mates in skool advice me to. im jus gonna forget about the interactions with her. shes making my heart boils to the extreme. bloody hell.
number 2. she's being an emotional and controller freak. we bought a new digi cam lately. READ : WE BOTH BOUGHT IT. meaning, both of us have the authority to use it. her being bitchy and me being hot headed, we quarrel as to who get to use the digi on sat. which is specifically ytd. i was given a task by mdm nor. to go to insyirah's house and interview her. i have to recored whatever mdm asked her. now she was an ex-iman. she is the top student in her current skool. and iMAN sent me to her house to interview her. knowing that i own a digi that can record n plus, i knew her. i assisted her in the kids fiesta last yr and i made for her the witch hat. n also coz im in skool on saturday, so mdm nor made me do that. n guess wat happen..
my sister, whom i always said that shes lovely and anything, dun let me have the camera. she strictly said she wanna use it for her jalan raya wit her boyfie n frens. i was dumbfounded. she knew i was given that task. n she knew i need it onie in the morning. she knew im gonna return to her by noon. but no. she was sooo hard headed that she screamed in my face. n she showed her big headed coz her boyfie was at our home. but he juz kept quiet. he din interfere. lucky he din. if not i wud have boxed his face. coz when she shouted at me back, i pushed her away. she shouted that im rude and all. n i answered feeling satisfied till now.. i answered that at least im rude infront of everyone and i dun put on faces like u. unlike u, who always play drama infront of everyone. total drama queen.
number 3. i dunnoe wat she told my mom about me. now my mom wont wanna talk to me like we used to. super dooper emotional that she blamed me even the smallest thing that she cud find. bloody hell rite. totally hate it seh. she made me do the laundry. clean up my room. do the dishes. clean up. fill up all the kueh in the container. provided i have to do my burning of cds. i have to study for my literature tmr. damn piss of seh. early morning gt so many chores.
and these all wrapped up everything. i totally hate my sister. hate her so much. one more thing she said, she said till now i dun settle down having a relationship like her its because i jz dun look attractive like her.
fark rite? ergh!!!!!!!!!
so immature to say such things but pls! i too have feelings okie. i was dissed! screw her!
okie. im done blogging. i have cds to burn. i have to go. n i have literature tmr. wish me luck. adios.
today my entry gonna be an entry full of hatred. yes. n i dun give a damn about what ppl gonna tink about me after reading my entry coz i noe who i am. n im sure onie the loyalties noes the real me.
ferst thing ferst..
i hate my sister. yes. her. nurul azura. y? let me tell u y..
number 1. she accused me of me trying to seduce n steal her boifren, suhaimi. mampoz taknk kan? i was like damn freaking shock sia. never in my mind i wanna flirt or steal or worse! seduce him! wadda?! i was so angry when she told that to my mom. i confronted her in fact n to make things worse, she vomitted all the stuffs that she shudnt mentioned. which is to me is rather sensitive to be speak. i was annoyed and totally very furious with her. not realising that actually her sister have never feelings for her boifren, not even an inch. n she shud very well noe my kinda guy. n hers is a totaly way out. i love big cute guys. not like him. ergh.
because of this, she is making me dislike her alot. like alot. n i jz dun see the point as to why we shud interact more like wat the mates in skool advice me to. im jus gonna forget about the interactions with her. shes making my heart boils to the extreme. bloody hell.
number 2. she's being an emotional and controller freak. we bought a new digi cam lately. READ : WE BOTH BOUGHT IT. meaning, both of us have the authority to use it. her being bitchy and me being hot headed, we quarrel as to who get to use the digi on sat. which is specifically ytd. i was given a task by mdm nor. to go to insyirah's house and interview her. i have to recored whatever mdm asked her. now she was an ex-iman. she is the top student in her current skool. and iMAN sent me to her house to interview her. knowing that i own a digi that can record n plus, i knew her. i assisted her in the kids fiesta last yr and i made for her the witch hat. n also coz im in skool on saturday, so mdm nor made me do that. n guess wat happen..
my sister, whom i always said that shes lovely and anything, dun let me have the camera. she strictly said she wanna use it for her jalan raya wit her boyfie n frens. i was dumbfounded. she knew i was given that task. n she knew i need it onie in the morning. she knew im gonna return to her by noon. but no. she was sooo hard headed that she screamed in my face. n she showed her big headed coz her boyfie was at our home. but he juz kept quiet. he din interfere. lucky he din. if not i wud have boxed his face. coz when she shouted at me back, i pushed her away. she shouted that im rude and all. n i answered feeling satisfied till now.. i answered that at least im rude infront of everyone and i dun put on faces like u. unlike u, who always play drama infront of everyone. total drama queen.
number 3. i dunnoe wat she told my mom about me. now my mom wont wanna talk to me like we used to. super dooper emotional that she blamed me even the smallest thing that she cud find. bloody hell rite. totally hate it seh. she made me do the laundry. clean up my room. do the dishes. clean up. fill up all the kueh in the container. provided i have to do my burning of cds. i have to study for my literature tmr. damn piss of seh. early morning gt so many chores.
and these all wrapped up everything. i totally hate my sister. hate her so much. one more thing she said, she said till now i dun settle down having a relationship like her its because i jz dun look attractive like her.
fark rite? ergh!!!!!!!!!
so immature to say such things but pls! i too have feelings okie. i was dissed! screw her!
okie. im done blogging. i have cds to burn. i have to go. n i have literature tmr. wish me luck. adios.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
open house at punggol over at busu's house was a blast. i din actually stayed there the whole day. i left for a while to meet my dearie clarence. so we took the ride to pasir ris and enjoy the cool breeze. away from the cluttered n crowded place.
before the makciks went on seperate ways, we took the family photos. after more than 10 yrs, we took again. this time all the makciks n pakciks completed already. soon to be its gonna be my turn.
opah: tak lama lagi,tambah lah lagi satu org. ntah opah ngan aki sempat tgk ke tak.
and she smiled at me. hmmmm... *wonders*
niways, after that, i din went home wit my family. i met clarence and he sent me home with his cargo lorry. very fun ya noe. it was a new experience for me. and clarence said i look like small kids who are soooo happie after receiving a huge lollies. wild imaginations eh? haha
we dropped by west coast to have our supper. imagine me wit a chinese-malay-look-a-like guy stayed up late and eat banana n hotdog waffles. me in baju kurung k. classic i tell u. we took plenty of pictures in and out of his lorry, but clarence being the most genius of all, accidentally hit the wrong button, n there goes all the beautiful pics.
after that, we chilled at kranji n guess wat time i reached home? almost 2 i tell u. its a record k. ive never stayed up that late wit anyone before.
*phew*
then the next day, met ibi at noon. so there i am dragging my sloppy legs wit dreadful-cant-open-eyes, met him. he is soooo selekeh tt i said..
"eh, u dunnoe how to shave eh? sooooo untidy.."
n u noe wat this mofo replied?
"i need u to do it for me. i misses u so much that i cant even hold a blade properly. i scared i hurt myself, my love."
rubbish rite? guys nowadays.
niways, put tt aside. later in the evening, moon called, he said he needed me to come over to marsiling to meet him n fique over at teh tarik. so i have no choice but to dragged myself n meet them. fique was smiling wit glee. from far i can see his white teeth. despite his balckie features la kan. *oopz*
they actually was discussing on their upcoming events. in which im totally lost n couldnt be bothered to interfere. i sat there wit my milo dinosaur and my karipap. looked at them wit my dunnoe-the-word-to-describe my eyes.
okie this thing is like a few days ago la. very outdated. no use updating bout it also. so no worries la kan..
i miss marque alot. haiyah...!
Friday, November 03, 2006
i misss all these ppl tts y i post their pics. esp ibi. eventho i jz met him like ytd and just now. hehe. i miss lesbo aidah also. n i miss didi too. i miss my bro also. long time din hug him coz hes not feeling well. n i miss my adek farah but it seems that i dun have our pic. there are la a few but wit her ex bf. so i tot its not nice to put it, so i'll jz pass.
niways dik, i miss u too k.


