uh-huh!

salam alaik. hmm its been quite some time i update my blog. well been bz wif myupcoming mid yr next week. been study everyday. i'll log in to msn if only im having my break. tak sempat nak update my blog. im not in a mood to do anything lately. dylan went back home ytd n confirm hes not coming back forever. last sat he went back home but came back the next day as the datuk from malacca wanted to see him. then ytd nite,he fly back home again. n not comin back ever again. tts wat daddy told me as they cant travel alot. geez...~

i jus have to tawakkal n redha if its time for him to leave me n the world. i have to heed wafi's n infact everyones advice. im listening to hoobastank the reason. well i love the lyrics. it meant a lot to me. i jus realy hope to put all these aside n concentrate for my upcoming mid year. hmm ohh yeah i cant wait for the june hols as my skool is organising a skool camp wif the new yorkies. woots! n we're hiking the bukit timah hill. hmm wat else huh..

ohh yeah let me update all this. u peeps remember azmy.my ex (uh-huh), at last he got together wif nana. yeah the forever buddy. at last. happy for them actually coz tts wat nana wants actually. she jus keep on denying but now she cud not hold onto it anymore tts when she told azmy everything n tts where the thing started. wanna noe wat she did jus read her bloggie aite. n yeah one more thing,my buddy-bestfren,osman,already attached to hanah. the gerl hu came to my 17 bday party. all the best to u aite. insya allah.

and me..? wat to update bout me..? i dunnoe..

wassalam

listening to: the reason (hoobastank)

Mohd Mikhail Bob Junior Dylan..

salam alaik..

today was the most horrible thing tt happened in my life. dylan mite be leaving me forever n ever. received a msg from yazid,dylan's cousin. he said dylan is at Gleanegles Hospital. without wasting my time i travel all the way fron redhill to orchard. took cab from there.

upon i reached there,theres a small crowd outside dylan's room. my feet began to tremble. i ask the permission to see he for the last time. but i wasnt allowed. as only the one hu is close n blood relation is allowed in tt room. before u cud enter the room,u were needed to wear the green plastic jacket n gloves n face mask. even yazid n iryan n nad, his kuzzin were'nt allowed to be in tt room. i cud see him only from the small glass door. i cud see his white body. his skate shoes n skateboard by the bed. cud see him gasping for more air. he looked so pale. hes bald. my tears rolled down my cheek. so sad to see my bf in tt conditon. tt was the worst sight of him. yazid tried to consoled me. iryan gave me a hug. sat beside nenek. she too cant stopped herself from crying. dad went out from the room n saw me. he told me eversince dylan got out from the ICU,he kept callin out my name. i almost collasped but iryan n yazid hold me tite in their arm. dad said he have to bring dylan back home by tonite. by their private jet plane. the doc told me personally he have no hope anymore. waiting for his dying moment. i cried even more..

i cant help it. i cried alot. dad pitied me so much seeing me like tt. i dun have the last chance to see him. hold him in my arms. kiss him goodbye. all i can afford to do is to recite surah yassin for him. every single sec min n day. ohh tuhan dugaan mu amat berat.

iryan sent me home. he drove me wif his car. the car tt dylan used to fetched me from skool. im gonna miss him. all the things tt we did together. dad jus called me. to say the last goodbye. all i cud hear was the panting voice of dylan when dad gave the receiver to him. i cried even more. told him to be strong. n remember tuhan. remind him to berzikir inside the plane. n say tt he will always be in my heart. no matter wat.

i noe im not strong enuff to handle all these..i need him. told ibu bout this. ibu too was shocked upon hearing his condition. the sad thing is tt i dun have any pic of me n him taken. i guess im still phobia bout taking pic wif my love one. scared of loosing them so soon. but i guess,its still the same. the pic tt i have in my comp was gone as my comp was being re-boot due to the sasser virus. i need the recent pic of dylan from nana. i sent to her once. only she got the recent one. i miss him so much n im gonna miss him very much..

dylan..miss u hunzie. get well soon please. ajal maut di tangan tuhan..i want u back in my arms.

insya allah..

wassalam..

Tampiness Library..

salam alaik peeps. wooots! im at the tamp library now. accompanied wif fir n bell. i really want to check my email so bad so tt i can receive all my mail from the JBS committee mail. hmm hows my day. im kind of worried as gong din go to skool today.i guess he merajuk wif me. hmm maybe bout the fone call thingy. i sort of din layan him n he kecik hati i tink. haiz..ini anak sorang.

hmm yazid called me when im having my maths. talk for a while. we chatted over the fone as though im using line when actually im using prepaid.hmm kinda low already. dylan promise tt he wanna top up for me. insya allah by next week.

ohh yeah i have this eerie nitemare. not really a nitemare ar. its jus an eerie dream. hmm this person use to appear when im still together wif azmy. then for the last few days i kept on having the same dream. the same man who used to appeared last time appeared again in my dream. once i told azmy bout this n he said tt mite be the arwah bapak man. but now i n azmy have got nothing to do anymore. y he kept on appearing in my dream. each time bapak man tried to said sumtink to me,i ran away as fast as i cud from him. hmm pikiran ku dibuat nya. i wanted to call azmy n tell him bout this but cudnt find the time. hmm i tink im gonna call him when i noe already the reason y he kept on appearing in my dream. weird huh..aper agaknya disebalik mimpi nie eh..

anyhoos..i feel so fresh today. dunnoe y. when actually i slept very late. i watched video tt i recorded during the hari raya haji concert n SYF comp last yr. all those have turn into memories seh. miss them all..

ohh watched it coz my dad wanna sell my video camp. *sob**sob*

wassalam.

listening to: maroon 5 (this love)

ohh wats wif me..?

salam alaik peeps. im so so sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time. been bz wif skool. my second mid year n the most unpredictable thing tt happen which is my computer was infected by the stupid frustrating sasser virus. all my skools newsletter article n things was done halfway. the worse thing is tt my article wil be due by this week. im dead. the committee leader gonna screams her head off at me. at this point of time i really need it n this happen. it really suckz aite.

skool..
skool was fun. everyones great. me n gong is getting really intimate. comel also. bell as usual,we're very close from the start. well altho i have my new frens,i still remember my old peeps. eversince my comp was down,i spen most of my nites toking on the fone wif gong. u see since i start using prepaid,n theres this free line incoming n outgoing call,so we spent most if our time chattin on the fone. felt better after i share stuffs wif him. he share wif me bout his n i share mine wif him. hes really mr nice guy n i find him very comfortable chatting n sharing stuffs wif him. well dun get me wring,fazil is like a bro to me. we're more than jus a fren but not till into relationship. to all my peeps,fazil gong,nora bell,faiz comel,noreen rin n tengku fir..thanks for everything. thank u so much.

i pass my mid yr one wif flying colours. if only i cud do this good for my o level. i wont be stuck in this pvt skool. yeah i scored a2 for science. first attempt for phy n i pass. got a2 for english too. well mr singh is jus another person of mr fong. got b4 for my art. pvt student art is kinda bored but easy. easy to pass but diff to score. hmm wat else ohh yeah the most unexpected subject-to-pass subject;maths. i scored c5. hmm yeah c5. must do better leh..

must try my very best for upcoming mid yr 2. hmm..

dylan.......
and yeah as for dylan. well im kinda piss of wif him. he easily gave up n i hate tt. the most saddest thing is tt he told me not to put high hopes on him. i really pissed when he said tt. i made him promise not to say tt anymore.

for this past few days i coudnt contact him. tts y ive been spenting my niteless nite toking on the fone wif gong. i really miss him. wat i scared is tt, (my negative tots) one day i receive fone call from his house or sth n tell me tt hes gone forever. i dun wan tt to happen. i mean not yet...i dun wan to lose him...i really need him.. as for now..

miss u abang.

anyhoos,i wont be updating my blog REGULARLY till my comp kena reboot. im now at woodlands library. ohh my the moment i look up i saw nad's ex,fir. geez..mat! ohh anyway,im loggin off for now..take care peeps. see ya soon insya allah.

salam alaik.

listening to: tipah tetipu (ve n ruffedge)

blogstipation

salam alaik.
sorrie for not updating my blog for quite some time. been very bz wif skool. sorrie frens. i did update my blog. been bz wif skool n stuffs. my mid yr baru je habis. now bz prepare for the o. its jus ard the corner..

sorry aite

to muhd fazil..

salam alaik.
sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time. been busy wif skool n teaching.
for fazil my buddy,dun give up easily. ku seidh bila dgr kau cakap macam tu. jus tink positive aite n move on wif life. u still have me,bell,lan,tengku n rin. u can count on us aite..

i really hope u stay strong n sabar menempuhi semua dugaan yg kau lalui. trust me,ku sedih dan sehinggakan ku menitis kan airmata ku mengenangkan nasib mu itu. life is short. hope u handle things maturely.

anyway introdue u peeps to my fren..theres..

Gong=Fazil Tomok
Bell=Nora HipHop
Dang= Me (short form for gendang)
Tengku=Firdaus Listiluhu
Lan=Faiz Comel (short form for gamelan)
Rin=Noreen (short form for tambourine)

hmm..ni la kerenah budak JAMIYAH BUSINESS SCHOOL..

listening to: sarena ku cinta (newboyz)

life was meant to be beautiful dearie...

salam alaik.
i dun really noe wats got into me. jus a small thing n i made it big. im sorry nadiyah. im really sorry. i behave n handle things like a kid when im actually turning 18 this year. but i jus wan u to noe tt i really treasure our frenship. all this while we've been goin through the ups n down together. eversince we seperated,many things have gotten into between us. wat happen this few days,im sorrie. im jus stress up n i dunnoe how to handle it. behaving like tt is totally immature. im really sorrie.

had mini arguments wif the MF peeps. am really ashamed wif myself. wats wif me? im not strong to handle n face wif this kind of situation. everything is not right. dylan. hes another one. sometime i jus gave up wif him. but he always make me promise,never to give up doin things halfway. i can never give up in him. he need me n so do i. i promise to him to always be by his side. love is blind. this is not the kind of relationship tt i want. but,its all fate. fate lies in GOD's hand. we plan it,he makes it. i prayed day n night,for dylan,for my family,for my besfrens, nadiyah, diana, hidayah, endang.

never in my mind to forgot them. in fact everything tt i do,i remembered them. eating at cineleisure long john silver wif faiz,remind me of my girlfrens. i sumtimes wonder wat they do and in fact, do they remember me. at the hawker center amk,eating mee soto wif Azmie,remind me of them. theres a whole lot of memories, everywhere i go.. i see them..

losing u peeps in my life is like losing the half in me. i have lose the other half of me when azmy left me. i dun wan u peeps to leave me. u peeps n my parents are my the other half. losing azmy is a crazy thing tt happen to me. i dun wan to lose u peeps, mikhail bob junior dylan,n the most important person in my life,my parents. jus dun leave me aite.

Mikhail Bob Junior Dylan..be strong abang. i noe u read this,i jus want u to be strong. ingat tuhan. ayang will always be by ur side. insya allah.

wassalam..