ok previous entry is more of the past past past.

now we gonna hit straight to patillas on the current current current.

hehe. im loving this.

whenever i listen to smack that, it made me remind of herman filano. yeah. i dunnoe y. coz i rmb telling him tt i love akon new single and he sang. wen he sang, i was smilling wit glee n begged him for the song. he transferred it to me thru msn. so, tts y la each time i heard smack that by akon feat eminem, herman's face played in my mind. teeheehee.

next, when i heard my love by justin timberlake, trus i teringat this Rynobi aka Ry. hehe. serious. coz both of us adore him alot. it goes like this la. we went for dinner at lau pa sat as soon as iman kinderseminar ended. it was raining and while waiting for it to stop, we had our dinner at lau pa sat. we were waiting for the food to be serve, and my phone rang. osman called. now my ringtone is my love by J.T. he smiled. so while talking to osman, he was smilling at me. it was weird la kan. when i hung up the phone, he said

"aiseyman gerl. amacam bleh sama lak ringtone nie.. hehehe"

cute la he when he laugh. terpikat. then trus the whole nite its all about dance, hip hop and J.T. sama kepala and we never got bored talking bout it. da puas about all those, we moved to crita hantu plak. he told me his experienced when he undergoin his NS Police. he told me bout handling suicides la, murder la. then the encounters tt he had at his barracks. totally cuteness when he smiled.

hehe. NEXT!

u guys ever saw panic!at the disco lead singer guy? i tell u eh. tt lead singer looked like Jalil aka Jay. comel kan? its just tt Jay have this very tempting-to-kiss-able lips la. no doubt bout it. but everything bout him, the features and all are all similar. n since then i terpikat with the song "I write sins and not tragedies" hehe. serious. wa tak bedek! so each time, when terdengar tt song onie, i trus teringat him. n conferm i will sms him. if not he will sms me this..

" i tak sangka i listen to this song. but since u made me, now i terdgr. each time i terdgr, i have this urge to tell u. cpt la teringat kan i plak. g dgr radio.."

comel comel. hehe. and he plak, whenever he heard tt paris hilton song, "stars are blind" he thinks of me. takde lingkage kan? eeeeeeeeeeeee! geli.

last last, clarence plak. whenever i heard any songs by the late singer aaliyah, i tink of clarence. he is like deeply in love for her seh. any songs from her are all nice and catchy. n me plak, from not liking her, trus i listen to her song. y?

coz 4 songs sang by aaliyah is at the top of the playlist at LIMWIRE! THATS Y!!

teeheee.

and lassssssssssssssssssssssssssssst skali. haiz im gonna miss him. anything tt is related to hindustan, it will be all about Ibi. n im gonna miss him ya noe. y? he said this..

" mite as well we dun keep in touch noeing tt u will never be mine..."

this mofo. i dunnoe wat to say. he left me juz like dat. jus because i dun wanna be his gf. i have my own valid reasons k.

haiz. kk this is the slides of the guys. read the captions for who is who.

many many flashbacks happened today. y? coz it was oldskool just now.

i was enjoying the coldness and at the same time reading the book that ive borrowed. went to the library to the the queen of bubble today.

so while reading, i heard girlfriend by n'sync. touching sungguh lagu nie. teringat when hidayat wants me to be the gf, he sang for me this song. n it happened to be that im the most blur sotong to the max, i tot he sang tt song for fun. not noeing that hes hinting on sth. haha.

then when nick carter i need u tonite plak, teringat la when dzul wants be to be the gf. tt time i lived at hougang. was in love wit two. azmy and him. dzul being extra sweet, light up a candle infront of my house and arranged it " be mine?" and sing for an acapella song. tt nick carter song la. bleh pengsan aku depan pintu.

then when it comes to tearing up my heart by saper la. teringat la wen hamza sang for me tt song when he saw tt im super dooper close wit ming en back when i was in sec 2 tk silap. monkey love la. haha but touching la kan wat dis guys can do for the gfs whom they love like wat.

then got this one song, as long as u love me by bsb. woohoo this one i like the most. dylan sang this song for me. when the first time we met la. first first love love over the fone onie. then when the feelings got sooo deep we decided to meet. i tot i was being fooled la as iryan actually showed up. before meet up, i actually tot die die that this dylan guy is a caucasian guy. but it turned up that a malay guy turned up instead. rupanya2, member nak testing. hehe. its true la tt dylan is the mat salleh and iryan is the cousin.

then when he passed away, (i miss u dear), iryan was there for me. and he love this particular song. which my mp3 played without me knowing, i miss you by blink 182. iryan is not soo romantic like the cousin la. so because of him i started to listen to punk emo and indie. all sorts of genre la. thanks to yan. so when he got jamming kirakan mcm touching la kan.

when i was very active in the hiphop scene, i was wit nysham. hes the b-boy. he loves to sing duet wit me, bonnie and clyde. this song is like at everyone's lip seh at tt particular point of time. tt time everyone call their love ones boo. but nysham stick to the classic oldskool, my love. alahai....

then after a few malay songs, ter main la plak lagu ruffedge, yg, "bila rindu" i tink the title of the song. haaa this one terus teringat la si fahmi. hehe kekek la kan. he sanggup memorise tt song before i left for pahang staff retreat, and we sang tt song, and by the time i gt home from pahang, he can sing tt song like a pro oready. can cair la upon hearing his voice.

then toby lightman nyer lagu plak masuk. devils and angel. this one made me rmb of hamzah. tt u-noe-who guy. heh. he loved smallville alot. so he like this song. n he said the ferst time he saw me, this song was playing in his head repeatedly. tts y la he dedicate tt song to me. haha

then got summore la but i cant afford to list down all. pecah tembelang la kan seeing how many failed relationships i went thru. hehe. all these are monkey love k. tmr i shall blog bout the recent sings wit the recent ones.

adioz.

it sucks. super surreal sucks.

do u noe how it feels if ure totally been ignored. it is sooo not good feelings rite? tts wat im facing rite now ya noe. i mean yeah i was told for the upteenth time that the reasons he reacted like this today its because of the weather and feeling lethargic. but im not satisfied wit his reasons. i felt its like more of excuses. and for the first time ever i was being ignored totally the whole day. so u can imagine how bored i am this whole day.

coz frankly speaking, hes the one that actually made the day. his endless goody goody msg-es, this endless hehe-hoho-haha text and phrases. his almost im all about u kinda msg to me are all is a must. but wat really making me in total puzzle is why? why me?

he claimed tt he not onie ignored me but also another fren of his. okie la no doubt la i have to admit that i dun like having a guy frens who have a lot of gerl frens. tt totally not making me at ease. so this fren of mine here is like more of gerlfrens compared to the boyfrens. k tts besides the point actually as to what im gonna complain tonite. the thing is, y he have to go thru all these and drag me into the matter? i mean wats the shoulders and the ears for?

well initially, for your info, theres a shoulder to cry on and i can lend the ears to listen to. im always a good listerner. so he can consider me rite? he is never the secretive kinda person. he shares all the tots and feelings and almost about everything. but now how come tonite he is totally different.

the bottom line is, i cant accept the fact that i m ignored by him with reasons that he gave was, coz of the weather and feeling all lethargic. very illogical rite? i dun understand ar. when things gonna be a-ok, things gonna corrupt and there goes back to square one. i jus dun deserve this.

thats totally bout him. ive been bragging on n on about Jay a.k.a Abdul Jalil. the guy whom we declared have feelings for each other. look now wat happen. n so a fren said, langit tak selalu cerah. yelah, memang. tp pernah dgr tak aper guna nya kawan? ppl said, my feelings my say, u dun have the rite to noe if i dun wan to. ya la but if it already affected the someone that u love so dearly, u can still bear with it issit?

*faints*

heart pain seh when talking bout this matter.

tts Jay part. now it comes to this Herman Filano guy. i dunnoe if hes gone deaf naturally or was just putting an act. he acted super surreal blur tonite. i admitted, being told the new task in one whole shot was just a culture shock and everything, so i was fuming wit everything, and i let it all in one go at him wen he called before lunch. cant be blame. a hungry lady can be a very angry lady. so it happened tt he called before i had my lunch, and too bad la kan, he gt all the fook-a-doodle-ding-tiang.

but he just kept quiet.

and im sure u guys knew me too well rite, a softie. i called him when im on my way to get lunch. i apologised to him. sincerely okie. realising my mistakes and all and said tat i was in a blur mode jz now. he understands. so thats all for the whole afternoon. and then now, hes giving me the cold shoulder. wtf?

aku seriously tak faham la ngan lelaki ni sume. sumpah!

i asked him many many times la wats wrong wit him. he wit full ego said nutting nutting nutting. bih when i wanna have conversations with him, he replied u noe in the i-dun-wanna-tok-la-biatch kinda way. heart pain seh. blood boiling to the max k. then till now, im like as if talking to the wall. well at least wall is very well spotted, cant ans coz its like i said very well spotted! a non living thing.

but someone pls tell me that herman is a man. a human. a living thing.

sumpah! aku tak faham lelaki!

i tot just maybe i can blog the pictures of the guys tt cause the headache. but on a second tot i dun tink its a good idea. altho its very tempting.

shud i or shudnt i?

aniways, my new addiction is to the latest single by christina aguilera, Hurt. the lyrics are sooo meaningful tt i fell in love the moment i heard it for the first time. and i realise tt i miss my mom sooo much. her absence do give me a lil bit of quietness and boredom. tt can be a lil mundane.

hmm. what shall i do for now? ive swept the floor. ive did the laundry and done with the dishes. cooking gonna be later. as for now im gonna sit down and do nothing. stares at the ceiling? do teaching aides?

ohh no for goodness sake its holiday. christmas. ppl dun tink bout werk. ppl tink bout enjoy. so i shall do stuffs tt i enjoy. ive read almost all the books on the shelf. almost all the books ive read more than thrice. wat else? music? im waiting patiently for the teens choice awards.

ouh u guys, ive just realise the vocalist for the band, Panic! at the disco, look exactly similar, like replica of Jay. totally the same. like the malay verse goes, saling tak tumpah. i was soo exhilarated, i sms-ed him n told him. serious! even when im typing this, im all excited coz i tink apart from justin timberlake, tt panic! guy can also make drool.

*faints*

okie okie. this few days eh ive been boy crayyyyzie. wat onie me. u noe wat, the more longer it gets, the more tempting it is to blog bout the guys tt have been causing the headache.

k laterz.

ok.

lesbo fee just left. she accompanied me half of the day. Y? coz im all alone. how come? coz family on holiday. where? perak. y i din tag along? coz im werking. enuff said.

and mai bubbled. shes supposed to join but she totally bubbled. and true enuffs. bubblesaurus-rex have yet to extinct.

im freaking cold seh.

n now currently im chatting wit ry. so i cant concentrate wit my entry.

some other time.

a great warmth welcome back to me from iman.

ive came back from my leave and now back to serious business.

n now im lack of time to update like i always did during the holidays. no more free time sitting n laze ard infront of the computer.

really got no time k.

almost everyday when i reached home, i felt so lethargic and so so dead. cold n buried.

talking bout cold. the weather is ooo sooo amazingly cold and freezing. n i like.

but not when in the morning. the water is ooo sooo freezing cold. and i shivered and gritted my teeth so bad.

so ytd i went out wit jay. very funny guy.

on sunday after seminar i went out rynobi. such a sweet guy. a total sweetie pie. he sent me off at the interchange. we have a lot of common interest.

and i din noe that jay dun enjoy sports but enjoy dancing alot.

n i tell u, rynobi is like another replica of usher. fique pun kalah.

so hot la he.

n i shall goin boy krayziiiieeeeee again.

i shud STOP IT!