okay since fee said that her Ryan Ross is hot. i tell u Brendon Urie is hotter can!



my knees can go super weak when i see him pout his lips! jay look so much like him. now let me ask myself, i like brendon bcoz its brendon or because jay looks like him?

wakakaka!

the mystery will remain unfold. i tell u. i can go craayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzie wit Brendon Urie. i want Brendon Urie can?

mummy, bump into him again. plz?!

apologies for the long time missing in action. shall update now. shall shorten the all-mighty-lengthy entry.

lets starts wit a day wit boyfie. for reference, boyfie- fayyadh. take note on that. particularly someone pointed out and asked to answer her the miseries that she went thru, wanting noe if we're serious or anything. well, like wat a fren said, let the heart lead everything. as for now, its the heart thats doin the stuffs. this useless soul is a total ridiculous. hopeless i tell u. very indecisive.

had a fine great date wit him. we decided to meet once a week. and apparently the last time that we met was on the v-day. i tell u, v-day this yr is so so so different. i receive no bouquet. i receive no flower. i receive no bracelet. but i receive a ring. from him la who else.

next its about my love. note now my love is known as heart. due to some unforeseen circumstances, i have to change the labelling. and as to avoid confusion, please do take note aite. now jay formerly known as my love, changed to heart. yeah. heart. so we went on a muvie date. we watched a very lousy movie at suntec. after that we had our late lunch cum early dinner. it was a nice one to one close experience. but no doubt we're still super dooper shy wit each other. and jz ytd we met again. he tagged along to lin's wedding. we have yet to take pictures together. soon i promise. the feelings just kept on growing....n growing...n growing.

after the date with heart, met didi to go to dayak's bday gathering. not many turned up. pity her. but its all good. we had a great time after all.

so i guess that wraps up the whole thang. not too detailed as i dun tink its necessary for me to pen down everything.

its the updating that matters most.

just note that, im still in a confusion state aite.

ouh one last thing! my latest possesion is BRENDON URIE! go figure who the hell is he.

its 12.55am ppl. wth??

k i cant sleep la apparently coz i dunnoe i guess im caught in the middle? well the besties must have known wat im talking about.

no doubt ive been smiling and feels chirpy ytd and tdy. the reasons are very well spotted. on thurs i met baby yadh at woodlands mrt. i swear i was damn freaking nervous. and i wasnt even prepared to meet him. i tot things gonna go haywired as soon as he saw me, but hell no i was wrong. the feelings in him just grew n grew and now im developing the same feelings towards him.

how? wat am i supposed to do? i am not supposed to feel this way. wat about my love jay? ive been patiently waiting for him and now things screwed up when baby yadh appeared. i tot this gonne be a play for a moment but its gonna be a soap drama for goodness sake. and im freaking scared that im gonna lose my love jay. it really made me happy getting a boyfren for myself like fayyadh but at the same time, i dun tink this is exactly wat i want for myself. im in dilemma. i shudnt have get myself involve in this stupid thing. im so in love wit two. i dun wan jay to noe bout this. he literally had showed me the signs which ive been waiting for ages, but y now? y onie now when yadh appeared? does he really testing my patience? but thats totally impossible.

ohh to whom i shud turn to? i noe things can never be okie as time goes by btwn me and fayyadh. i love his presence but i hate it when it comes with lots of restrictions. n to his parents, he is still a baby. imagine, 20 yrs old and have a curfew as early as 8. die rite? weekends strictly fr family and madrasah. i respect that kind of situations but he have to respect mine too. i admit i already develop the feelings fr him already. and im scared.

i felt sinful for not being truthful and honest to my love jay. ibu tried to coax me. she said wat makes me think that jay dun go out wit any other gerls. wit him who have the looks and everything in the world that a gerl can dream of. i just knew too well bout jay. he wont and i dun tink he will. as he wont have all the time in the world. even if he would, he will have told me and its onie goin to be his sec sch gf mates. i have no worries on dat honestly. but things are just getting topsy turvy now. ive never in my whole entire life lead myself to this kind of situation. and now its getting out of hand. well not really and i bet it will......anytime sooner.

just how can i get myself out from this. i noe i cant and i dun have any single hope in surviving. either one of them have to face rejections. and i have to think for future sake. and i have to think bout the security that i want. looks is totally out of point and the most important thing is the sincerity. fayyadh clearly shown. i dunnoe maybe i think we're still in the honeymoon period. but ive yet to see in jay. jay is being to secretive tts y. and he think and re-think to every single thing that he wanna say and do to me. just to make sure he din make one wrong move. he said one move and it can change all it off.

ouh im sooo terrified. love is such a pain in the ass~