okay since fee said that her Ryan Ross is hot. i tell u Brendon Urie is hotter can!



my knees can go super weak when i see him pout his lips! jay look so much like him. now let me ask myself, i like brendon bcoz its brendon or because jay looks like him?

wakakaka!

the mystery will remain unfold. i tell u. i can go craayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzie wit Brendon Urie. i want Brendon Urie can?

mummy, bump into him again. plz?!

apologies for the long time missing in action. shall update now. shall shorten the all-mighty-lengthy entry.

lets starts wit a day wit boyfie. for reference, boyfie- fayyadh. take note on that. particularly someone pointed out and asked to answer her the miseries that she went thru, wanting noe if we're serious or anything. well, like wat a fren said, let the heart lead everything. as for now, its the heart thats doin the stuffs. this useless soul is a total ridiculous. hopeless i tell u. very indecisive.

had a fine great date wit him. we decided to meet once a week. and apparently the last time that we met was on the v-day. i tell u, v-day this yr is so so so different. i receive no bouquet. i receive no flower. i receive no bracelet. but i receive a ring. from him la who else.

next its about my love. note now my love is known as heart. due to some unforeseen circumstances, i have to change the labelling. and as to avoid confusion, please do take note aite. now jay formerly known as my love, changed to heart. yeah. heart. so we went on a muvie date. we watched a very lousy movie at suntec. after that we had our late lunch cum early dinner. it was a nice one to one close experience. but no doubt we're still super dooper shy wit each other. and jz ytd we met again. he tagged along to lin's wedding. we have yet to take pictures together. soon i promise. the feelings just kept on growing....n growing...n growing.

after the date with heart, met didi to go to dayak's bday gathering. not many turned up. pity her. but its all good. we had a great time after all.

so i guess that wraps up the whole thang. not too detailed as i dun tink its necessary for me to pen down everything.

its the updating that matters most.

just note that, im still in a confusion state aite.

ouh one last thing! my latest possesion is BRENDON URIE! go figure who the hell is he.

its 12.55am ppl. wth??

k i cant sleep la apparently coz i dunnoe i guess im caught in the middle? well the besties must have known wat im talking about.

no doubt ive been smiling and feels chirpy ytd and tdy. the reasons are very well spotted. on thurs i met baby yadh at woodlands mrt. i swear i was damn freaking nervous. and i wasnt even prepared to meet him. i tot things gonna go haywired as soon as he saw me, but hell no i was wrong. the feelings in him just grew n grew and now im developing the same feelings towards him.

how? wat am i supposed to do? i am not supposed to feel this way. wat about my love jay? ive been patiently waiting for him and now things screwed up when baby yadh appeared. i tot this gonne be a play for a moment but its gonna be a soap drama for goodness sake. and im freaking scared that im gonna lose my love jay. it really made me happy getting a boyfren for myself like fayyadh but at the same time, i dun tink this is exactly wat i want for myself. im in dilemma. i shudnt have get myself involve in this stupid thing. im so in love wit two. i dun wan jay to noe bout this. he literally had showed me the signs which ive been waiting for ages, but y now? y onie now when yadh appeared? does he really testing my patience? but thats totally impossible.

ohh to whom i shud turn to? i noe things can never be okie as time goes by btwn me and fayyadh. i love his presence but i hate it when it comes with lots of restrictions. n to his parents, he is still a baby. imagine, 20 yrs old and have a curfew as early as 8. die rite? weekends strictly fr family and madrasah. i respect that kind of situations but he have to respect mine too. i admit i already develop the feelings fr him already. and im scared.

i felt sinful for not being truthful and honest to my love jay. ibu tried to coax me. she said wat makes me think that jay dun go out wit any other gerls. wit him who have the looks and everything in the world that a gerl can dream of. i just knew too well bout jay. he wont and i dun tink he will. as he wont have all the time in the world. even if he would, he will have told me and its onie goin to be his sec sch gf mates. i have no worries on dat honestly. but things are just getting topsy turvy now. ive never in my whole entire life lead myself to this kind of situation. and now its getting out of hand. well not really and i bet it will......anytime sooner.

just how can i get myself out from this. i noe i cant and i dun have any single hope in surviving. either one of them have to face rejections. and i have to think for future sake. and i have to think bout the security that i want. looks is totally out of point and the most important thing is the sincerity. fayyadh clearly shown. i dunnoe maybe i think we're still in the honeymoon period. but ive yet to see in jay. jay is being to secretive tts y. and he think and re-think to every single thing that he wanna say and do to me. just to make sure he din make one wrong move. he said one move and it can change all it off.

ouh im sooo terrified. love is such a pain in the ass~

im having the whole house all to myself! woohoooo!

they went JB for shopping spree. and im getting my adidas watch green one this weekend. tt is all im buying for myself. i paid the bills and bro shoes is still pending. and i tink i need a few pants and kurta. i had enuff of wardrobe malfunction.

niways, im counting the minutes to the dancefloor. and currently nutting to blog about.

i miss My Love.

and Baby Yadh (fayyadh) is getting scary and scary~!!!

HELPPPP!!!!!

okie im on 2 days mc. rmb rite i complained that my cough is getting from bad to worse? ya apparently its worse than ever. i can vomit blood coughing to it (but i din la..) and so i was send to the nearest clinic on friday morning. i was hit with very bad diarrhoea and migrain plus that cough la. lucky it wasnt asthma attack. not yet i tink. teehee!

niways, weird thing started to happen in my class oready. and i shall not story on dat. it really sent down the chill on my spine and my hair on the neck is oways standing on its end. its eerie i tell u. but i dun wanna tell anyone as yet. esp to the preggie mummy. i dun wanna get her into the shockest time of her life.

niways, my love msg me at 3am saying tt he just reached hm from werk. hes being extra hardworking by volunteering to do plainclothes duty. and i really really hope he can make it to PCG or at least to the land division. if not hes gonna be a sad sad boyfie.

we need your prayers ppl. pls. thanks.

niways i just got to noe this very lame young guy la. hes more of a psycho-slenge-cute guy. hes a year junior and waiting for his entrance at ite tamp. previously was from new town sec and ite yishun. ive just met him ytd and he asked me to be his gf. ytd also. mepek kan this guy? so me being very playful, i playfully accepted him..

hehehe! i noe im bad. but deep deep down in my heart, its gonna be oways my love my love my love. niways my love knew bout this, n he laugh about it. he said this young dude here is despo. takper kite layan kan je he said. n he said.."saper la sanggup layan u..kerenah u. me ajer la yang sanggup sesungguhnya~! nanti conferm die tak sabar ngan u nyer..percaya la cakap me ni.."

haha i bet on that too. aku nak tgk larat ke tak budak ni layan aku. siap la aku mulakan kerenah bodoh aku.

bak kata pepatah fee, " scandal biar ramai, kekasih tetap satu je.."

woooohoooo!

tapi aku rasa serba salah. jahat kan aku nie? hehehe!

today lack of manpower again. and my cough is getting worse and worse as days goes by. now u tell me when is it my turn? to have my beauty rest. and to regain my beauty energy so i can be a beauty once again?

*smacks forehead*

so today monday. ya. and we're going to west coast for a picnic! yippee!

*hops around!*

and apparently, in my mind ive been planning what we can do there. initially i tot maybe we can have a rolling good time wit balls. so yeah, tts part of the plan. another one thing is to bring my ohh-soo-expensive binoculars to let my children experience using the real matrix-look-alike binoculars. so at least sth la kan..

*teeheeeheee!*

and lesbo fee just left the house. we spend hours and hours of editing, arranging, choosing and deleting Mr Sabiq's photos. since hes turning 22 tmr, we search and fit in 22 pictures. brilliant aye? haha. and it turn voila!

all those hardworks, all those back aches, all those eye squinting and all those unremorseful remarks (hehehe!), i hope he likes it. i hope FEE likes it.

niways, i wanna hit the bed anytime sooner. coz i cant afford to stay up awake now. im soooo tired now. and i cant wait for tmr gol and gincu @ suria. i wanna have a bf like him. can my love be like him?

*shhhhhh...*

onie god noes....

thank god it's friday today. seriously. no joke. i dunnoe but this week was sooo hectic and chaotic to the max. maybe its because of lacking of manpower, and so theres a bit re-shuffle here and there. and apparently, since my class was like more of the extra hand, its oways been my class that willingly volunteer to relief the class. well, tts norm.

the principal knew that im quitting soon. she asked the sister but all the sister can do was jus shrug her shoulder. then the principal was like denying the fact when actually she noes tts the truth. she complained it to her instead. and what more rite she can do? she suggested just to start searching for new teachers. and the principal claimed that she cant afford to stop us anymore as she said she knew she wont able to succeed if she were to do it, n we cant really stand working under her. tt is total crapness k. i dun agree wit that.

reason i wanna quit is because of me wanting to continue studying. its just that i tink i had enuff rest from studying and now im ready to go back to skool.

well enuff said bout this. i dun wanna be ranting bout things which have yet to have the possibility if its happening or not.

now, the real entry.

ive actually been damn freaking furious with the bestie osman. u noe wat? i gt really sick and tired wit him. the gf knew how i felt all this while after wat had happened to her recently. coz wat really happened to her was the exact thing tt i wanted her to feel, realising how difficult it is for me to accept the whole senarios and the whole of the everything. wat i hate bout him is, if he have problem with that gerl, he came crawling complaining to me and the gf, when he and that gerl is doin fine and a-ok, all he claimed was miscommunication.

go to hell with miscommunication!

well im not being emotional or anything la but then ar, to make it simple and straight, let me say like this la, "bila susah ingat aku, bila da senang aku kau ketepikan."

merepek kan?

not onie me la realise this but the gf also said the same ting. recently, wen he needed my help in launching the syabab and the logo thingy, he came to me asking help to paint that thing on fabric. at first he promised that things will be provided and he will deliver it to my doorstep. frankly speaking, i was super dooper busy as skool is opening anytime sooner at that period point of time. but thinkin that it was my besfren who is the one that asking the help, i made the sacrifice. the event was on sat. he confirm everything to me on fri morning. freak rite? i told u it was suicidal. and hes making i dunnoe if its a reason or not that, he cant provide me with the things as he dunnoe which is which. tts vaguely crapness. ive said early one week in advance, just buy any acrylic paint as long as its not classroom acrylic. i advice him not to use fabric but replace it with mahjong paper.

and he gave me shit by telling me that, he cant provide all those. reasons, he dunnoe if its suitable wit things. he said, (read:SAID) he will gantikan all the stuffs after once its done. k so me being baik hati, i told him that i will provide him the mahjong paper, acrylic paint and brushers. i was damn freaking lost wen all the colours that needed for the logo thing finished. it was madness i tell u. n i cant be buying onie a tube of each colour needed as it was freaking expensive to the max. bt im lucky mai is just a few storeys down, i used some of her colours then. tts a lot of sacrifice. theres more sacrifice in fact, i reached home on tt fri nite very late. n my parents were getting ready for their holiday at penang. i started doing it at 10 and manage to finish it and frame it all by 3 am! take note that i have skool orientation on the next freaking day! so imagine how i looked like on tt very morning. i meet all the parent with droopy eyes.

tts a sacrifice i made for him ya noe! i brought tt ting to skool. he said he cant meet me, so the gf meet me instead to fetch tt thing. i miss the gf.

and now wat exactly happened? ouh, theres a retreat to tt thing. a chalet cum bbq kinda thing. n guess wat? i wasnt invited seh! and wat? i wasnt involve u said? then the painting? who make it happen? who the gerl that din sleep n finish tt thing? who the gerl that came knocking on mai's door asking for paint? whos the gerl that goes to skool with droopy eyes and that heavy thing, took taxi cz was late for the skool event??

who who who????????!

i m freaking mad!!!!!!!!!!

tu sbb ku cakap, bila nak mintak tolong aku, sanggup datang rumah aku, hantar frame, bobal ngan aku baik2. bile benda tu da siap, member lupa aku. tak cakap thanks pun. mmg la sblom benda tu siap member da thanks pegi thanks balik. tapi bila da siap, member hilang. melampau kan???

k dgr2, that gerl did told the gf to invite me.

ape? bila mintak tlg, pandai merayu sms aku, bih bila nak jemput retreat, main passing2 msg kepe? and member sindir kat the gf tau like as tho mengejek..

" eh gerl, kau jangan lupa tau jemput SI HUDA tu. ingat tau, SI HUDA KAWAN KAU TU!"

macam sial kan? hah kan da cakap. nak ajer aku maki musibat!

im really angry ar. wit him smp skg menghilang dunnoe where to. wit tt gerl who is behaving super surreal immature. onie the gf knoe how i exactly felt. and for all i care, i dun lose anything. n tak menyesal pun tak pegi.

macam sial.